Light Over Myself

Light Over Myself

J. O. Smith writes in letter #142 to Elias Aslaksen: “He who desires God’s light must first get light over his own depravity, and from this filth, gold can be mined. We need light in order to please God in our lives and deeds; but in order to receive light, we have to be looking for it. There are rays of light that go unnoticed.”

Am I so attentive, alert, and God-fearing that God can show me my repulsiveness, my lack of the essence of God and His nature, and my humanity? Or am I superficial and satisfied with a good outward appearance? Do I see the problem with others, who apparently have a speck in their eye, while I am blind to the plank in my own eye? Matt. 7:3-5. Then I need to look within myself, become zealous, and repent from this lukewarm and spiritually dangerous state—to come into the right relationship with Him—the first love.

By taking heed to myself and to the doctrine, I have the opportunity to discover these rays of light from the Father, and then I can follow Jesus in humbling myself and, through the power of the cross, overcome the demands of the flesh. Phil. 2:8.

“I am dark, but lovely.” Song 1:5. Can I see how dark I am? Do I mourn over it and walk in fear, so that I can receive light where I am still in darkness, and be transformed? If I diligently persist in this work, a pleasant fragrance will increase—and I will become more and more “lovely.” I acknowledge the judgment of the light and humble myself under the mighty hand of God. The others sense that I am becoming more humble through judging and purifying myself. Then my words take on a different tone, a tone that I am one who is a vessel of mercy, that I have been loved and that I love in return. Then I can be saved, and can also be of help to those who hear me.

By the spirit of judgment and by the spirit of burning—the spirit and the fire—the work will succeed. Isa. 4:4. By judging ourselves and agreeing with the judgment, we will not be judged. By loving the fire and allowing our flesh and self-will to be consumed, we are spared from the fire that will come one day. What a blessing that we can go to meetings and conferences with this attitude, that we love the thrones that have been set for judgment. We acknowledge the truth about ourselves, and then it sets us free.

Ps. 122:3-6. “Jerusalem is built as a city that is compact together, where the tribes go up, the tribes of the Lord, to the Testimony of Israel, to give thanks to the name of the Lord. For thrones are set there for judgment, the thrones of the house of David. Pray for the peace of Jerusalem: ‘May they prosper who love you.’”