How We Can Easily Fall Out With Each Other

How We Can Easily Fall Out With Each Other

First, there are three things that are subject to corruption: 1) We hear incorrectly, 2) we remember incorrectly, and 3) we misunderstand. In each case, the other person has not said it the way I think I have heard it or as I remember it, or has not meant it as I have perceived it. And herein I am innocent; this has nothing to do with sinning. However, if, when I hear that I was mistaken, I am stubborn and (for example) accuse the other person of lying, then I am committing sin.

Strife and arguments usually arise by being too emphatic or by exaggerating. Thus you give the other person cause to contradict, and by doing that, he also exaggerates. And so it can continue.

Exaggeration and overemphasis are clear indicators that what the person is saying is not true. A person is guilty if he does that; he has sinned. People are prone to accuse each other of lying when they have fallen out with each other, whereas the source of their contentions can be a number of misunderstandings, having used expressions that were too strong.

It is particularly significant that all those who contend with one another in this way always think they are fighting for truth and righteousness. In other words, they misinterpret their lust for contention and their harsh judgments of others as being a virtue!!!

Read James 4:1-3. He was of a completely different opinion!!! All wars and fights come from the sinful lusts that war in the members. “You fight and war,” James writes. “You ask amiss,” he says, “that you may spend it on your lusts.” Yes, so that I can pass sentence on the other person and stand there as the one who was right. People seek the honor of man instead of seeking the honor that God faithfully gives to the peacemakers and to those who gladly suffer injustice for the sake of peace. Who has suffered greater injustice than Jesus???

Jesus was condemned to death for blasphemy!!! This was among the last steps that Jesus left behind for us to follow.

What have contentious brothers and sisters done with Jesus’ word, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God”? They have rejected God’s Word without realizing it. They meant well, but they acted badly. They meant to do God and the church a great service, but they broke the law of life known as peaceableness.

Suspicion also often plays a part. It is not a triviality; on the contrary, it is a terrible abomination. Suspicion is to think evil of others, and in spite of not being aware of anything specific, the person is convinced that this is how it is, or was. The person doesn’t have enough to contend with all the sin that exists, he is also convinced about something he knows nothing about. In that case he can (for example) think and say something like this: “I am sharp, you know, I realize that you meant me, and the reason is . . . .”

It is an especially serious evil to impute malevolent or dishonorable motives to what others are saying or doing. That would then be the opposite of this very good recipe: “Speak well of another person, excuse him, and think the best of him.”

Everyone could avoid much evil and much unnecessary contention by taking to heart a whole row of wise sayings in Ecclesiasticus 19: “He who controls his tongue, lives without contention, and he who hates slander, avoids much evil. Never repeat what others have said . . . . Relate it neither to friend nor foe . . . .”

“Have you heard something, then let it die with you; be still, and you will certainly not burst with it.

“Ask for an explanation from a friend. Perhaps he has not done it . . . . Ask your neighbor for an explanation. Perhaps he has not said it . . . . Ask for an explanation from your friend, for often it is only slander. Do not believe every word you hear.

“Many stumble in word, and yet not from the heart; and who is he who has not sinned with his tongue? Ask your neighbor for an explanation before you threaten him . . . . There is an exquisite subtlety, and the same is unjust.”

Think if everyone conducted himself accordingly, and quietly and peacefully asked the person concerned if he has said it or done it, and what he meant by it!!!

Just imagine if the person believed that the other person meant well! And imagine if he had such a good mind and heart that he refused to believe the bad things that were said about the other person!

Think if he had been that prudent and wise! However, what you have not been and what you are not you can grow into by becoming more humble, because then you will quite naturally receive more grace by which it can succeed. Glory to God!