Divorce and Remarriage

Divorce and Remarriage

How shall a divorced person who is remarried, or one who is married to a divorced person, conduct himself in the church?

God gave Jesus to be head of the church, which is His body. Eph. 1:22-23, 4:15-16.

Jesus says that whoever marries a divorced person commits adultery. Mark 10:10-12; Luke 16:18. Since Jesus is the head of the body, it is obvious that He does not want members that commit adultery. Therefore Paul repeats the word of the Lord, and then writes: “But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.” 1 Cor. 7:10-11.

We are all baptized by one Spirit to be one body (1 Cor. 12:13), and the servants whom Jesus as the head has given to the church have the task of building up His body. Eph. 4:11-16. Those who are members of this body are to be built up to do God’s will on earth just as it is done in heaven. Heb. 10:5-7. Such people are Jesus’ disciples.

Jesus says, “If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple.” Luke 14:26. “So likewise, whoever of you does not forsake all that he has cannot be My disciple.” V. 33.

Only when this is true of us are we really free and have Jesus as head. We can then be built up as members of Jesus’ body. All those for whom this has become true can say: “Follow me as I follow Jesus.” Those who live in a “marriage” relationship that is not recognized by God and His Word cannot say this, and they cannot be built up as members of the body of Christ. Therefore we cannot baptize them, because we are baptized into the death of Christ to walk in the newness of life. Rom. 6:3-5. Neither can they be servants in the church. They must keep quiet.

Divorce and remarriage have now become so commonplace in the world, even among believers, that it is not unusual for such people to come to our meetings. Often they have not known better, and have acted in ignorance. What makes the situation very difficult is that usually children have been born in these relationships. However, if they are willing to do what Jesus said was the very basis for being a disciple—a member of Christ’s body—nothing is too difficult. Everything can be put in order during the time of grace. They must separate and stop living in a relationship which Jesus calls adulterous. People get divorced for sinful reasons, even if they have had several children together; how much more should they be willing to separate for the indescribably high calling of being a member of Christ’s body!

Most people do not have faith to separate, yet they can see that the church is the right place, and they want to remain among us. We cannot insist that they separate as a condition for being among us, but they must understand their situation and be quiet. Then they can be blessed by the body of Christ. They are to be regarded as those who live under the law.

When the Pharisees asked Jesus about these matters, He referred them to Moses. They replied: “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to dismiss her.” However, Jesus said to them, “Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.” Then He went on to explain that “the two shall become one flesh,” and how we are to view the marriage relationship. Mark 10:2-10.

We cannot be one flesh with two or more if we are to be built up in the body of Christ. That relationship has to cease. Whatever we do must be done in faith. When those who have ended up in such a relationship because of their hard heart do not have faith to bring it into order, they can remain among us; perhaps faith can come by hearing. We shall show them love and let their children grow up in the church where they can find a home together with all the other children. We must not treat their children differently from other people’s children.

The parents can help with all of the earthly work, but they must not be permitted to have any spiritual influence in the church. They can be along in praying to God, but they must not testify, because then they would have to take a stand for the truth by living separately. It is inappropriate to have meetings in their homes for the purpose of building up the church. Also, when we receive them as guests, we must not let them stay overnight in the same room; they are not to be regarded as man and wife.

Rivers of living water are to flow from the lives of those who believe in Jesus. All those who come into contact with Jesus’ body are to experience the blessing of this water, and most of all those who want to be among us and conduct themselves properly according to their situation.