Lording It Over the Others!

Lording It Over the Others!

“Shepherd the flock of God which is among you, serving as overseers, not by constraint but willingly, not for dishonest gain but eagerly; nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock . . . .” 1 Pet. 5:2-3.

“And He said to them, ‘The kings of the Gentiles exercise lordship over them, and those who exercise authority over them are called “benefactors.’” Luke 22:25.

Not everyone who exercises lordship has evil intentions. Some of them have good intentions and want them carried out. However, most of them lord it over the others for their personal gain; yet some of them also rule over the others because they think it is best for them, seeing that they do not know what is best for themselves or are incapable of carrying it out.

In God’s kingdom everything has to be voluntary if the result is to be gold and precious stones. The only true way of gaining authority is to gain confidence by being an example—an example to the flock. Paul gives Timothy the exhortation not to let anyone despise his youth. Timothy was not to ward it off by using his talents and authority to rule, but rather by being an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, and in purity. 1 Tim. 4:12. This is the way for those who feel they are being despised or who think they should have more authority.

We need this exhortation not to lord it over the others in all areas of life. As a rule, religious leaders bind people to their own person. They use various scriptures to gain power over them, thereby forcing them to obey. They make particular use of this word: “Obey those who lead you, and be submissive . . . .” Heb. 13:17. But they do not make mention of the rest of the verse or of verse 7. However, if the leaders do not lead those who are being led to have a connection with the Head, then they mislead them. Col. 2:18-19. They draw away the disciples after themselves. Acts 20:29-30. Paul exhorts them to remember what he has done for them. V. 31. He was an example, and he said, “The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.” Phil. 4:9.

Those who lord it over the others hinder them from living. They take the lives of those over whom they are lording it and put them under a guardianship. This is a terrible injustice. They look for scriptures to use in order to gain authority, using these to threaten them.

It is written, “Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord.” Col. 3:20. You have to watch over the children when they are minors. As long as they are little you have authority over them to keep them in their place. However, if you chasten them according to your carnal inclinations, all you will achieve is ruling over their bodies, but losing that authority when the children grow older. You did not know how to win their hearts through your so-called care. Many parents rule over their children and provoke them. Neh. 9:37. When they can no longer lord it over their children, they make use of the passage of scripture that says that children should obey their parents, to gain control over them. Many parents use this scripture even after their children have become adults and are married.

Many marriages have been ruined because either the wife’s or the husband’s mother has entered the house and has begun to exercise lordship. They assume authority, and thus they take the young couple’s life away. The wife in particular tends to give in to her mother, and then the husband is helpless. More often than not you can see an older person as a member of a young family—either the grandmother or the grandfather. It is particularly easy for them to come into the family through their daughter. They reckon that they can still exercise lordship over her as their daughter. The wife is the one who runs the household and bears the responsibility for being hospitable, and so her parents feel at home there. Once in a while they also use Ephesians 5:31 to gain authority over the husband: “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” Then they add to it: “It doesn’t say that the wife shall leave father and mother!” They don’t remember that this exhortation was not necessary in those days, because it was the husband who took his wife with him—away from her home and to his home. There it was difficult to stay separate from his parents, while being together with his parents. Rebekah traveled quite a distance from her family to Isaac’s household. So also with Rachel and Leah. They said, “Is there still any portion or inheritance for us in our father’s house?” Gen. 31:14.

Here we can see the necessity of not letting anyone lord it over us. People who are about to get married and start a new household must be particularly on guard against it. They must not let anyone else—whether it be father or mother—lord it over them. If they so desire, they can ask for advice, but husband and wife must be one and decide on their own whether they want to follow the advice. The husband is to love his wife, and the wife is to respect her husband. She has given up her family name and has taken her husband’s name. They have to assume full responsibility for the home they have established.

When those who love to lord it over the others are asked for advice, they insist that their advice be followed by the one who received it. They cannot just give advice and then give the inquirer liberty. They avail themselves of the confidence the inquirer has in them to lord it over him, and if he does not follow their advice, they are offended.

Many such tyrants can be very hospitable, helpful, and dedicated. The others feel they owe them a debt of thankfulness because of their friendliness and their services. They can steal the people’s hearts just as Absalom did. They draw some people to themselves so they can lord it over them. Ex. 23:8. They savor being the one who gives advice and enjoy being others’ “confessor.” They lead people away from Christ who is the head of the church.

There are also many people who like it when others lord it over them. They don’t like to take responsibility; they seek out people on whom they can lean for support. Instead of seeking fellowship with Him who is the head of the body, they seek a “confessor.” They rest so securely in his advice and presence. Such people miss out on their reward and do not experience spiritual growth. Eph. 4:14-16.

Liberate yourself and your family from all those—whether relative or friend—who you notice want to sneak in and exercise influence. Break free from all friendship that does not lead you to the Head—Christ—from whom the whole body is joined together. True brotherhood can arise only through the Head. Everything else is human and corrupting.