I Am Dark, But Lovely

I Am Dark, But Lovely

There isn’t much that a person fears more than being dark. Therefore we read that the false prophets whitewashed all foolishness. They made it appear white even though it was ever so dark. People liked that, which is also why they did it. But when the true prophets spoke, the whitewash fell away, and the people became dark. They did not like that, which is why the true prophets were hated. Micah 2:6; Jer. 8:11.

The bride in the Song of Solomon acknowledges that she is dark. She is not trying to hide it, and yet she says that she is lovely. It is certain that those people who are not afraid to acknowledge their true state are lovely. On the other hand, the rest, even though they might say, “I am white,” should add, “but ugly.” A humble and acknowledging attitude is lovely, but the proud mind that hides its true state is ugly.

“Therefore, beloved, looking forward to these things, be diligent to be found by Him in peace, without spot and blameless . . . .” 2 Pet. 2:14.

We can ask ourselves this question: If a person is not found to be without spot and blameless, where is this spot? It is in his spirit! What does this spot consist of, and how does a person acquire a spot? The answer is that God jealously desires the spirit He let dwell in us. Jas. 4:5. My spirit has been permeated by sin because I have lived in the flesh. My spirit must be purified; it must be made alive if I am to have fellowship with God. I have to acknowledge my sin for it to be cleansed away. I cannot acknowledge something if I do not have light over it. Then I am not being accused either. The fact that I have a spot or a blemish is an accusation against me; therefore it has to do with an area where I have received light. My sin is revealed, and I am made aware of it when God lets His light shine into my life. If I then do not have this lovely attitude of being willing to acknowledge my sin, I will not be cleansed. I harden myself if I do not acknowledge my sin, and this hardening becomes a black spot in my spirit. I cannot have intimate fellowship with God, even if I acknowledge it partially. This is how a person can acquire a spot or a blemish. Nevertheless, let us make every effort to be presented without spot and blameless. We must not be afraid to be dark, since we know that we can be cleansed, but whitewashing does not result in cleansing.

The prophet asks, “Why do you increase your apostasy? Each head is sick, and each heart is weak. From the sole of the foot even to the head, there is no soundness in it, but wounds and bruises and putrefying sores; they have not been squeezed out or bound up or soothed with ointment.” Isa. 1:5-6.

It hurts when you squeeze out a sore; you want to do that as little as possible. Therefore it is not so uncommon for some puss to be left in it. Even though the sore can heal on the outside, something is left on the inside, and it will never be well. Therefore the physician puts a drain into the sore so that all foreign matter can drain out, and the sore can heal from the inside after he has operated on it. He is not afraid that too much foreign matter will come out; he is glad that it comes out.

After a person has been converted to God, he ends up in many different circumstances. It can happen that he sins in these circumstances; but if anyone sins he has an Advocate with the Father. 1 John 2:1-2. However, the worst thing in such circumstances is that only a few are humble enough to acknowledge their sin fully. People are so afraid of becoming dark; they make it appear as if it wasn’t so bad; they excuse themselves and defend themselves. They can get away with it in one way; the sore may heal from the outside, but it wasn’t squeezed out. A full and complete acknowledgment was lacking. Something was left on the inside that prevents it from ever becoming well. Then a person has received a spot or a blemish. He doesn’t have peace. Or he has explained something and given a solemn assurance that this is how it is; perhaps he even bangs his fist on the table by way of confirmation. But after a while it is revealed that things were not as he had explained them. Then only a few are humble enough to retract what they have said without trying to gloss over anything, without trying to explain that they really didn’t mean it the way they said it, etc. They are afraid to become dark. However, the bride says, I am dark, but lovely. If a person manages to avoid speaking the whole truth and make himself appear a little bit whiter, he is still not lovely. He knows that himself; he has received a spot or a wrinkle. There is something hard and unyielding in his spirit that prevents fellowship from being as it should be.

Most people, after they have been converted to God, have done many things that have left them with spots and blemishes. They were too afraid to become dark. If they had not been afraid of it, they could have been cleansed fully. But they shrink from squeezing out the sore after it has begun to look nice and has healed on the outside, and so they continue to suffer in the hidden. They pray to God for forgiveness, but it is kept alive in their memory and in their spirit. They are not truly lovely. They have spots and blemishes and are not among the one hundred and forty-four thousand who stand together with the Lamb on Mount Zion, because they were without fault, and there was no guile in their mouth. Rev. 14:5.

Now after the death of Jehoiada the leaders of Judah came and bowed down to the king. They wanted to serve idols, and the king listened to them. 2 Chron. 24:17. The priest Jehoiada was a strong man of God, and for as long as he lived, the leaders of Judah didn’t dare worship any other god. But after he died, it became evident what was in their hearts, and the king as well as the leaders began to serve idols.

This is how it is with many people who come under a powerful preaching of God’s Word; they forsake the world and serve God. Everything seems in order outwardly, yet they bear everything with them in their spirit. They have not cleansed their spirit from the world and vanity. When they come away from the clear light and the powerful influence of God’s Word, they begin to serve idols again.

This is also how it is with many people who go to the meetings; they realize that the narrow way is the right way to go. They deny themselves, and put off their fancy clothes and jewelry; but they are not happy. If it weren’t for the powerful influence and the sharp light, they would have kept all their finery. But now they put it all off; yet they bear a sense, an interest in these things, and a love for it in their spirit. If God should take them away, they would not be among the firstfruits. The firstfruits are without spot and blameless. The firstfruits’ hearts are in it; they hate the world and its lust. They cleanse their spirits from it. They become genuinely happy, and if they had liberty for all kinds of things, they would rather remain faithful to the truth—they would rather remain on the narrow way.

Paul said that after his departure savage wolves would come in among them, and from among themselves men would rise up, speaking perverse things, to draw away the disciples after themselves. Acts 20:29-30.

They stayed in their place for as long as Paul lived. They couldn’t do anything, but they had all these things in their spirit. Paul knew these spirits, yet he couldn’t do anything about it since they stayed in their place. Perhaps they were zealous in denying themselves and in serving—but they did it to be seen. Paul sensed their spirits were filled with covetousness, the lust to rule, and conceit; he suffered because of it while the others possibly esteemed these people. John wrote that they went out from us that it might be made manifest that none of them were of us. Only those who are partakers of sanctification by the Spirit and belief in the truth are of us. 2 Thess. 2:13.

This also applies to many who are generous. Perhaps they give a considerable amount in the collection, but they never get that large amount out of their spirit. They cannot rest from it. They would rather that someone had seen them put it in the collection. They are not among the firstfruits; they are not without fault and blameless.

Paul exhorts us to work out our own salvation with fear and trembling. Phil. 2:12. If we are to be presented without spot and blameless, we have to work, which is not impossible. There is nothing that can hinder us if only we are willing to be dark; then we will also be lovely. However, only a few will bear that reproach because they fear what people might think and say about them. Therefore they will keep their faults and blemishes, and there are enough whitewashers to comfort them and encourage them by saying, “Peace, Peace!” But they will not be among the firstfruits; they are not of the bride, because she is without fault and blameless. She did not walk before the face of man, neither was she afraid to acknowledge everything. She became dark, but lovely.