Sketches From Life

A young believing woman who came to our Bible studies was at first extremely judged by the Word that was spoken. This sister had previously attended a “free assembly” where life and confession, unfortunately, often bear no resemblance to each other, which was also the case with this sister. Her life was judged. God’s Word struck her, and it became necessary for her to take heed to herself—the exact opposite of what she had been brought up to do. Now her life had to come into the light even though it cost her. She asked for help from trustworthy people in the church; her conscience was cleansed, and while she broke down under God’s judgments she sank down at Jesus’ feet. She was then taught this somewhat foreign doctrine in our days about denying yourself, taking up your cross daily, and following Christ. Then she was gradually raised up from her miserable life.

Then one day she said to me: “Is there something wrong with me? When I first came to your Bible studies I felt a tremendous judgment, but now I don’t feel it any more. On the contrary, I have infinite peace and joy in my life as a glorious anointing.”

I answered her that there was nothing wrong with her. She had received these judgments over her life in the right way and now the scripture was fulfilled in her, that judgment had returned to righteousness because she had agreed with the judgment with an upright heart. And since the kingdom of God is righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, it was only reasonable that she was exceedingly happy. My advice to her was that “Now you can just rejoice with all of your heart as much as you desire. And if God later on should expose and judge something more in your life, receive also that judgment even though it is painful, for then that judgment will also return to righteousness and give you increased joy.” Now this same soul rejoices in the liberty into which she has entered. Now she is joyfully walking on the way of the cross, full of zeal to do all her work before God’s face.

Together with the above it can be beneficial to receive some good teaching. When God’s judgments hit something in one’s life, some people can go for a long time oppressed by this judgment. Others can surmount it more easily. The reason is that the last person with upright heart acknowledges the truth about his life, whereas the first person is more unwilling and slow. Therefore judgment does not as quickly return to righteousness together with its peace and joy. Your experience will be based on your attitude to the light that judged you. Therefore many people can go so long under the judgment of the light about something in them that their conscience is seared, they lose courage and boldness, and the whole thing ends up in despondency simply because they did not have sufficient love for the truth.